IT's hard to believe 11 years ago today my little family became complete with the birth of this little fella right here.
Every mom has her tale of childbirth and most love to tell it. Well I'm no different. Mine may not be the best or the easiest or even exciting but they are mine so buckle up, here we go :)...........
Honestly as bad as my first two pregnancy's were I was surprised I even had a third. Although he wasn't the hardest on my body he was definitely the hardest on my heart. The day I found out I was pregnant with him was a total shock. I went to an appointment to talk about having a tubal performed an to hopefully find out why I was so out of energy and just wanting to sleep all the time. With a 2 year old and a 10 month old at home sleeping all day is just out of the question. Not long after having my blood drawn my doctor came back in the room with a big smile on her face and yep, you guessed my Little Nickel pie was already in the oven baking. I was relieved to know that nothing was wrong but honestly worried about this new journey that was about to begin.
My first pregnancy was basically 42 weeks of major morning sickness followed by 48 hours of hard labor, another hour of pushing while still throwing up, the mid-wife having to turn him because he was coming out facing the wrong direction which caused his cord to tighten around his neck and before he came out his heart had stopped. Being a first time mom I had only seen child birth in the movies so I assumed he would come out and cry his first big cry then I would cry and it would be happy even after. Not in my case. He came out blackish blue and he was limp when the mid-wife laid him on my chest for a split second, before she ran him over to a bed. All the while reassuring me he was just fine. I knew in my soul something was wrong by the way everyone was rushing, not to mention the look of sheer horror on my husband and mothers faces, while watching them jobbing tubes in his nose and mouth and then finally as they rolled in the little paddles that they laid on his chest that jolted his tiny body. Very shortly after the first horrifying jolt I heard one of the sweetest sounds I could possibly hear. It was a quite crackle of a tiny cry. HE WAS ALIVE I heard the cry. One of the greatest feelings was when they laid that sweet little boy in my arms and he looked up at me with his eyes wide open. Only after every thing was done and his apgar score was at a 2 they finally filled me in on the whole story.
|VINNY-7lbs 14oz and 21ins long|
|SANTANA-6lbs 0ozs and 16ins long|
Now on to my birthday boy. As I said before he was a total surprise and really a blessing in disguise. This pregnancy was not like the others before I didn't have morning sickness as bad with him although I did loose weight again. All was going pretty well till the blood work the doctors office did when I was 17 weeks(the AFP test). I don't remember having that blood work the the first two times. About a week after having my blood taken for the AFP tests I received a call from the nurse instructing me to come in the following morning because the OB needed to speak with me. Scared out of my mind I walk into my Dr.'s conference room where he proceeds to inform myself and my husband (at the time) that the blood work came back and that Nick had tested positive for downs syndrome and spina bifida. I was floored. I couldn't control my tears as they ran down my face at the thought of my poor little fella having such a challenging life. The Dr. told us he would be sending us to Forsyth Hospital to have some new 3-D ultra sound. That way they could get a closer look at him and then go on from there. We walked out of the office in silence. My mind was racing about possibly getting prepared for a special child while not knowing what his dad was thinking. It wasn't long before I found out just exactly what he was thinking. That night my husband brought up the topic of abortion. I myself have NEVER believed in it and was truly shattered that he had even brought up the topic. He continued on about how we already had 2 wonderful healthy children and that this one would be better off not being born because he would just suffer. He persuaded me to just make an appointment ( too this day I am still filled with shame that I even considered that option) at the crisis pregnancy center so that I could talk to someone about what I was feeling and what he wanted to do. Going in I still felt that god had put him there to be my baby and there was a reason for it all. When my name was called Alex and I both got up but the lady asked him to stay in the waiting room. I walked down the long hallway listening to the echo of each step I took knowing that I didn't want to be there. After finally entering an empty room the lady motioned for me to sit on a couch in front of a tv. She spoke briefly about the option of abortion in which I told her that my heart wasn't really into it and that it was my husband that had decided it was what was best for us. She got up walked over and turned the tv on. Across the screen appeared a few words but the only one I could see was ABORTION in big bold letters. I started crying the moment the video stated and before the procedure really even got started I was begging the lady to cut it off. I left that building with my mind made up. Regardless of what I was going to face in the future this little guy was going to live his life to the fullest. Finally in the car I told Alex that I refused to go through with it. With no love or care in his voice I was told that if this baby came out with anything wrong that he would walk away and never look back. With that being said I knew my marriage and any love that I had ever felt for him was gone at that very moment. The following week I went to Forsyth with my mother for the ultra sound. Spina Bifida was ruled out but they couldn't tell me for sure if he had downs. The ride home I felt quite a bit better, feeling that maybe this wasn't going to be to hard to do on my own after all. Next came the amnio. Definitely something I never want to relive again. Waiting seemed to take forever but it came back positive. The rest of the pregnancy I read as much as I could about downs syndrome and caring for a child with it. I wanted to be as prepared and as knowledgeable as I possibly could for my sons birth. Finally the big day arrived. Once again I labored in all 15 hours this time with no pain meds what so even, not even to take the edge off. When it came time to push the real anxiety hit. So many emotions running wild. Was I going to be a suitable mother, was I ready... well ready or not here he came. My beautiful butterball arrived with a big strong loud cry. He sounded and looks perfect. It was love at first site. I never noticed anything different about him compared to any another baby. That is until I heard Alex say "Something is wrong." He moved Nicks head to the side to show me a growth that was attacked to the side of his neck. I didn't care all I knew was that my baby was ok. The next morning a specialist came in to see Nick and told me so many big words about what that growth could be. He scheduled for us to come in after we were released from the hospital. The first appointment was basically to inform me that he didn't believe nick was in any pain from the growth but that it had to be removed and that since he didn't like putting little babies to sleep unless absolutely necessary he wanted to postpone surgery till nick was 6 months old. I don't remember ever purposely not taking pictures of the growth but looking back it was always covered up of tucked into the collar of his out fit. It felt like decades had passed but the day of nicks surgery came. During pre-op the surgeon prepared me for what may or may not happen. I was told that they had no clue what they were up against till they got in there, that they had no idea how long it was going to take. It all depended on what it was attached too and they would find that out when they opened him up. I was also told that he may have trouble with speech when he got older because of where it was and that him face my draw on one side. I held him in my arms all the way to the operating room and felt like I was falling apart as I unwantingly handed him over. I tried to walk the best I could but my mother had to help me to the waiting room. I had never felt so weak and helpless in my life. Hours went by and I jumped right out of the chair when I heard a very familiar cry. I didn't notice the other people in the room when I yelled to my mother "THAT'S NICK" The surgeon came around the corner and before he could tell me anything I just blurted out "That's Nick crying he needs me". I was right it was nick. The surgery had gone well. The had removed all of the growth and had sent it off to be tested. He told me I could go on and head of to Nick's room and that he should be there by the time I get there...lol NOPE I beat them there and had to sit and wait. He came in squealing his little head off. With a drainage coming out of his neck and a board strapped to his arm to hold in the IV. He seemed to instantly calm as soon at he was laid in my arms and I believe that where he stayed the whole week he was there. The day after being released from the hospital I took him for his follow up with the surgeon to make sure everything was healing great and to find out the test results. Come to find out My little Nick was supposed to have had a conjoined twin and that nick (as the doctor stated) hogged all the nutrition preventing the other baby from developing fully and that after further testing they discovered that the growth was causing all the other test to come back positive. To this day Nick is a bright and loving young man who has been in speech since he was 4 and is now in the 4th grade and talking very well although he still has to take speech twice a week so that he can continue to improve. He still has the big scar along the side of his neck from his surgery but he doesn't look at it as a negative thing he actually enjoys telling his war story. Sometime I look at him and think if I hadn't followed my heart I would have missed out on such a wonderful person and would have robbed him of this life he was meant to live. God works in mysterious ways and he sure is great :)
|NICK-7lbs 9ozs and 23ins long|